Black and White.
When I was in middle school I used to go back and forth between wanting to become a teacher and a lawyer. When I found out that lawyers could essentially “buy” a teacher, I quickly dropped the idea of helping people in the classroom to wanting to help people in the courtroom. But as I found out what becoming a lawyer meant, picking a side and defending an action you may not agree with, I changed my mind again.
See, my life is gray. I don’t mean that in an “I’m-depressed-and-all-I-want-to-do-is-lay-in-bed-and-eat-ice-cream” type gray (although I would love to lie in bed and eat ice cream everyday). I’m the type to see two sides of every story. Notice the good in people and understand that there is a devil in all of us. My vision is blurred. There is no distinction between black and white…and it’s kind of a downfall.
Yes, it’s great to be Switzerland once in awhile, but come on ya’ll, we all know that China’s having the best year ever a lot of fun threatening the world with explosive material. Ok, maybe that wasn’t a good example, but you get the point. To be in the middle and not have a solid opinion could be seen as a form of weakness. I say this because to have an opinion means you are gathering information about a topic, formulating a judgment about the information gathered, and then being able to defend why you think Heinz is better than Hunts.
But for me, personally, it’s my ego that puts me in the middle. I hate being told I’m wrong. Although I think I have gotten better with accepting that I am not a “know it all”, it takes a lot out of me to acknowledge that. But, everything is a learning experience and it’s OK to confess that you’ve been saying “nip it in the butt” when it’s really “nip it in the bud”.
::peacock::
I absolutely love that you are doing this, I really envy you for putting your shit out there. Keep at it. Funniest thing is…I’ve known you all my life (practically) and this blog is helping me learn more and more about you.